my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
