How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
