She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
