But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
BRING THE BAGELS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
