Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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