vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
