i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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