uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
