Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
