Are you still at the party or did I leave?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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