can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
