Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
