i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
