Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
