how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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