you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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