last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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