I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
