We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
