just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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