Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
