i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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