So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
