Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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