how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
