Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
