Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize