I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
