When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
