Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
