She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
