I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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