So drunk its hurt
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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