I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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