mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
