I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
