I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
