he wants to bone in the snuggie
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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