We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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