i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
