That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The uberlube is also flammable
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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