I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
