OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
