it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
