yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
