girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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