You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
