i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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