My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
