Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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