My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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