remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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